‘Love in action’ fights nursing home residents’ loneliness

Bessie’s Hope intergenerational programs benefit young, elders alike

Roxanne King

Her life’s work, she says, is a legacy to her grandmother and was inspired through prayer.

“I was mad at God at the time, asking ‘Why does [Granny] have to endure this indignity at the end of her life?’’ Sharon Holloway, co-founder of Bessie’s Hope intergenerational programs, said describing her anguish that her grandmother, Bessie Stephens, was in a nursing home with advanced Alzheimer’s, confused and lonely despite regular visits from Holloway and her mother.

“I started hearing this voice, ‘Bring them together the young and the old,’” she continued. “It was God’s voice, inaudible to others but loud to me, and I saw me working with elders and my friend Sharron [Brandrup] working with kids.”

Holloway, a music therapist and clinical chaplain, and Brandrup, whose expertise is intergenerational program development, launched the nonprofit Bessie’s Hope (formerly Rainbow Bridge) in 1989 to bring community awareness and participation into nursing homes. The two also wrote and produced a highly praised musical about their work called, “Together.”

Bessie’s Hope offers three programs: youth and elders, family and elders, and community and elders. Although non-Catholic, the organization partners with Catholic entities.

“We’re the only organization in the country doing what we do, providing education and training for all ages to be able to interact and have mutually rewarding relationships with elders in nursing homes, including those with Alzheimer’s,” Holloway said.

I started hearing this voice, ‘Bring them together the young and the old.’”

Youth and elders is the organization’s largest program. In it, pre-school through high-school age youths visit nursing home residents to engage in activities including reading, playing games, making crafts, and interviewing elders to learn about their history.

Research shows that intergenerational relationships are mutually beneficial, psychologically and socially, Holloway said. While youths gain self-esteem, respect for others, life and academic skills, elders get companionship, intellectual stimulation and the chance to feel useful.

“The training is what makes our work so successful for youths and elders,” Holloway said, adding that among other skills, participants learn how to be present by looking into the elder’s eyes, to slow down their speaking pace and to empower elders by doing activities with them, not for them.

Sixty percent of nursing home residents don’t receive visitors, Holloway said.

“It’s not the nursing home’s fault that people are estranged from their families by distance,” she said. “But we’re attacking that percentage.”

Through the program, participants said, youths learn empathy and to calm high energy, while elders seem to come to life.

“I look forward to seeing those young people,” Mijee Mumaugh, 89, a resident of Denver’s Gardens at St. Elizabeth, said about visits from Escuela de Guadalupe School students through Bessie’s Hope. “It’s a good outlet for us to be with someone other than our own age group.

“I have my own piece of refrigerator art,” she added. “That’s something special since I don’t have grandkids!”

Escuela student Alexis Ibarra, 11, enjoyed his visits as a third-grader at the Gardens so much, that he asked permission to take part the following year as well.

Bessie’s Hope was created to try to make a difference in the lives of those who feel unloved and unwanted.”

“I was happy because … we’d go and cheer them up and they’d be happy—not in their rooms lonely,” he explained. “They were very nice and would compliment us.”

Lauren Carranza, third grade teacher at Escuela, has had her classes participate with Bessie’s Hope monthly during the school year for the past several years as part of their first Communion preparation to make their community service requirement a “living, breathing,” meaningful experience.

“It happens that third-graders and elders have the same interests,” she said with a laugh.

Ibarra agreed.

“They like to do what we like to do!” he said.

Holloway noted that St. Mother Teresa called being unloved, unwanted and forgotten the greatest poverty.

“Bessie’s Hope was created to try to make a difference in the lives of those who feel unloved and unwanted,” she said.

Carranza said her students relish doing their part.

“The kids know they … can share themselves with others and learn from others,” she said. “They’re surprised by how much they connect with the elders and form relationships with them. It’s like they give each other a gift back and forth.

“That’s their ‘love in action.’”

Bessie’s Hope

For information on programs and/or upcoming events, including Bessie’s Hope 14th annual Bowl-a-Rama fundraiser to benefit at-risk youth and nursing home residents, visit BessiesHope.org.

COMING UP: Not your “this-could-be-for-anyone” Christmas gift guide

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With Christmas rapidly approaching, many of us run into the problem of finding great and unique gifts for our friends and relatives. For this reason, we have come up with a gift guide that can make your Christmas shopping a little more fun.

For your friend who enjoys “Naptio Divina”

We all know that sleeping during adoration or prayer isn’t all that bad: you rest with Jesus, right? Well, we thought this quality would be worth honoring with this shirt from Elly and Grace that you can gift your “Jesus-took-naps” friend. The cozy baseball shirt is perfect for any man or woman who enjoys resting with Jesus. Visit EllyandGrace.com for more information.

It is great to nap with Jesus; but… it is also good to pray. Therefore, we have included Fr. Larry Richard’s “No Bible, No Breakfast! No Bible, No Bed!” Scripture Calendar, in case your friend is tempted to nap with Jesus every time, instead of talking with him. You can find this calendar on CatholicCompany.com and help your friend remain faithful to praying without napping.

For your friend who evangelizes while they drive

Is your friend’s driving accompanied by countless Rosaries and acts of contrition? We have the perfect gift! The Catholic Company provides numerous car accessories for the fast evangelizers. It reminds them to wait for their guardian angels on the road in their works of mercy. On the Catholic Company inventory, you can also find sacred images and pins, such as the visor clip for any parent who is worried about their children’s driving habits.

For your friend who fights for a cause

Religious art, yards, a great cause: everyone wins with one. Angel Haus is a Denver-based nonprofit that provides employment for the disabled by creating religious art, especially for yards. The founder is the newly-ordained Deacon David Arling, who has been operating it since its initiation five years ago. They have now sold over 300 Christmas Display boards and San Damiano Cross images. The family business has encountered much support from their pastor, Father Michael Carvill at Nativity of Our Lord Church. Nonetheless, they need your support to continue with this project. To purchase an item for your friend and help this great cause, email Arling at djarling2011@hotmail.com.

For your friend who is a lost cause

Okay, okay, no person is a lost cause; but we all know someone who is pretty close to being one. As soon as you think they’ve finally gotten it, an off-the-cuff comment smashes all your hopes. Hold fast and do not despair, St. Jude is here to help! This 3 ½” tall St. Jude wooden peg from Etsy.com will make sure that the patron saint of lost causes is constantly at work for your friend. Etsy provides a wide variety of religious hand-painted figures from Whymsical Lotus that range from the Sacred Heart to your favorite saints, such as St. Therese, St. Patrick, and Our Lady of Guadalupe. These charmingly detailed and delightful dolls make a unique gift for those friends who need a special intercessor.

For your little friend

Running out of ideas to gift your child, godchild, or short friend? The search is over. Faithful Findz from Etsy.com makes great replicas of saints’ attires. Take, for instance, the “Saint John Paul II the Great” costume, handmade out of cotton poly fabric (Hawaiian Pope mobile not for sale: sad, I know; but a miter and red cape can be purchased separately). Some of their popular costumes include the habits of Mother Teresa and Padre Pio (gloves included). Even more, the maker requests the person’s waist measurement to ensure the best fit. When in doubt, you won’t lose with the saints, and neither will your little friends.

For your priestly friend

He already has all sorts of things, what could he possibly want? Rosaries, religious art, and other religious accessories are probably some of the most common gifts for priests (or priestly friends). Nonetheless, we can assure you that very few have a custom-made priest bobblehead of themselves. It makes a great gift! All you have to do is send a couple pictures of your favorite priest to MyCustomBobblehead.com. Doesn’t sound like the best idea? Look at it this way: it is a way for your priest to remember and embrace his obedience to the teachings of the Catholic Church, as his bobblehead will constantly nod to God’s will and shake his head to refuse all sinful things. Plus, you’ll get a discount if you mention you saw this in the Denver Catholic.

For your friend who never gave up on comics

Why would anyone give up on comic books when you have great initiatives like The Ultimate Catholic Comic Book? A group of Catholic cartoonists joined forces to bring about this entertaining, clever, humorous, and enriching book for all ages. Although many of the parodies and puns may well go over children’s heads, the comics contain messages that remain true to Catholic Doctrine. You can buy it and check out the sample digital copy at CatholicComicBook.com.