Few things bring more joyful anticipation than the promise of an upcoming wedding. The months leading up to my own nuptials, over 20 years ago now, are memorable for their hope, happiness, and general sense of euphoria that comes with being a young bride.
I was engaged for the duration of my junior year of college, which meant I was largely (and quite happily!) distracted from my studies. I wanted everything about my wedding to be perfect, from the music and the dress to the vows and the flowers. I was just 20 years old, but I believed that marriage was a big deal, and I wanted our ceremony to reflect both our love for one another and our love for God. We married in a church for this very reason, and June 22, 2002, proved to be every bit as beautiful as I’d hoped.
This was, of course, in the days before the internet had transformed the wedding industry. Times have changed, to be sure, and this is perhaps most evident when it comes to choice of wedding venue. Between the years 2000 and 2012, for example, weddings taking place in a church (like mine did) declined by 40%. It has surely declined even further since. And regardless the reason, one thing seems clear: when it comes to wedding location, barns and beaches are in, while churches are out.
Interestingly, the Catholic Church has always asked that couples seeking the Sacrament of Marriage forgo this growing trend, and marry inside of a church. When this has admittedly become less common, one wonders: is there a good reason why the Church asks this? When you could have your choice of any venue, why hold your wedding ceremony at a local parish?
We read in the Catechism of the Catholic Church that “the celebration of marriage between two Catholic faithful normally takes place during Holy Mass, because of the connection of all the sacraments with the Paschal mystery of Christ…It is therefore fitting that the spouses should seal their consent to give themselves to each other through the offering of their own lives by uniting it to the offering of Christ for his Church made present in the Eucharistic sacrifice, and by receiving the Eucharist so that, communicating in the same Body and the same Blood of Christ, they may form but ‘one body’ in Christ” (CCC 1621.)
Put simply, a wedding that occurs during the Mass, in the sacred space of a church, is particularly, deeply and spiritually meaningful. It not only signals that a sacrament is being conferred (and divine grace imparted!), but that the Sacrament of Marriage belongs to God, and is a holy, good and honorable thing that involves not only the spouses but also Jesus Christ and his Church. The bride and groom, as they offer themselves fully to one another in the sacrament, unite this self-gift to Jesus’ own total self-gift to the Church in the Eucharist. A church wedding testifies that Our Lord is the ultimate bridegroom, and the Church his bride.
The Nuptial Mass will, like any Mass, include the Liturgy of the Word and the Liturgy of the Eucharist — and nestled in between the two will be the Celebration of Marriage, in which vows and rings are exchanged and the Sacrament of Marriage conferred. What an incredible way to begin your life together as husband and wife! The wedding ceremony itself ought to highlight a “pathway to holiness,” for both the marrying couple and everyone else present. Both the reading of scripture and the celebration of the Eucharist serve to do this. And when you consider how Jesus gives life to the Church through his total self-gift in the Eucharist, you can see why it is so very fitting to receive the Sacrament of Marriage within a Nuptial Mass, in a church, where the Sacraments of Baptism and Holy Communion are also received. A church wedding with its path to holiness is an acknowledgment that love and life and community originate and begin with God, and that husband and wife are not alone on this journey. Father Larry Rice wrote that a “church isn’t just a set or backdrop for a wedding; rather, a wedding is an expression of a faith community’s joys and hopes.”
How blessed we are to have not only the sacraments but also the wisdom of the Church, the fullness of the faith. We know that, far from the more worldly ideas about love that permeate modern culture (many of which amount to little more than cheap sentimentality), the Sacrament of Marriage is deeply profound and important. St. Pope John Paul II perhaps said this best when he wrote, “In the celebration of the Sacrament, the spouses give and receive each other, declaring their willingness to welcome children and to educate them. On this hinges human civilization, which cannot be defined as anything other than a ‘civilization of love’” (Gratissamam Sane).
On this hinges human civilization. A civilization of love. The gravity and beauty of this mission of marriage cannot be overstated! This is why we agonize over all of the wedding day’s finer details and want to choose the most perfect venue: we somehow innately sense the mystery and profound meaning of marriage, and we long for our ceremony to reflect not only this mystery and meaning, but also who we are as a couple, and who God is. We know that when it comes to a wedding, location does very much matter.
So while some couples may prefer the idea of marrying outdoors, or may simply not love the design or architectural style of their parish, there remain compelling, timeless and beautiful reasons for marrying inside of a church. The parish church remains far and away the best choice for a wedding. The church is a truly sacred space. The church is where Jesus is fully present in the Eucharist. The church is a silent but powerful witness to the very author of life and love, to the reality that marriage is God’s domain, and to the joys and sorrows that mark the lives of all who gather there.
Really, what better place to have your wedding?
