Local authors remind young women they’re ‘Daughters of the King’ in new book

Therese Bussen

With so many voices competing for the attention of young people, living in the world as a Catholic millennial can be a confusing journey, especially when it comes to learning what it means to be truly masculine or feminine.

Thankfully, there are plenty of resources; but most resources for young adults and teens are produced by their parents’ generation.

This is where Colorado residents and fellow college-age women (now recently graduated) Kaylin Koslosky and Megan Finegan decided to get creative.

Their book, “Daughter of the King: Wait, Where’s My Crown?” ($12.95, paperback) is written for the modern-day young woman, from her perspective — and the result is refreshing.

Koslosky and Finegan approach a wide variety of topics with an authentic, relatable and easy to understand manner. Themes include how to have a healthy body image and love oneself; what modesty means and how to practically live it; navigating relationships and chastity; what it means to live a life of faith and encounter Jesus; their personal testimonies; and addressing what they call “buzz topics,” like relativism, the college party scene, contraception and more.

All of these topics have been approached by other writers, speakers and leaders before, but the voice of these young women, which encourages readers in everyday struggles with invigorating honesty, is a welcome take on living as an authentic and truly feminine woman.

Each of the women takes her turn sharing her experiences with the various topics. Since their personal journeys have been very different, just about any woman can find something in the book to relate to, no sugar-coating added.

The intended readers are high school and college-age women, so some women a bit farther along in these areas or who are older than the intended audience might not find it to be challenging enough; still, it’s a quick and easy read for any woman – and is full of practical advice, reflective questions and exercises to grow in virtue and in relationship with God.

The most intriguing thing about the book is that rather than it being written by an authoritative voice, it’s the peer voice speaking to other peers. These women have lived through these challenges, have come out on the other side and are still growing. It’s as if an older sister who’s “been there, done that” wrote down her experiences and passed it down to her younger sister just a few steps behind her.

And the most important message they’re passing on is the worth of the woman.

Koslosky and Finegan told Catholic News Agency, “No matter what you’ve done or where you’ve been, or what your past is or isn’t, you’re beautiful, you’re loved and you’re a daughter of the King.”

More resources for women on all of the topics covered in their book are available on their website, restoreyourcrown.com.

COMING UP: Relativism: An obstacle to the pursuit of truth

Sign up for a digital subscription to Denver Catholic!

When I was a kid, my favorite television show was The Partridge Family. Mostly because I was completely enamored of the late David Cassidy, whom I was convinced I would marry some day. But also because the show featured just the kind of mildly corny humor a seven year old is inclined to enjoy.

I remember one joke in particular. Keith (David Cassidy) is trying to give big brotherly advice to Danny (Danny Bonaduce). He says “If you just believe, you can be anything you want to be.”

Danny responds, “Great! I want to be a black woman.” Laugh track ensues. Because everybody knows that a pale white, red-headed, freckle-faced kid cannot grow up to be a black woman.

I was thinking about that scene as I was listening to Bishop Robert Barron Feb. 6, giving a riveting talk on relativism to a packed house here in Denver. As he spoke about the philosophical underpinnings of relativistic thinking, I realized that joke couldn’t be told today. Because, as a society, we don’t seem to agree that race, gender, or just about anything else, are based in any kind of objective truth.

Bishop Barron spoke of a video you may have seen. A rather short male interviewer asks college students what they would think if he told them he identifies as a woman. Then an Asian woman. Then a 6’4” Asian woman. They hesitate at times, but all ultimately agree that if that is his “truth,” then he is indeed entitled to be a tall Asian woman.

That is the ultimate expression of relativism.

Relativism, boiled down, is essentially the belief that there is no “objective” truth that is true for all. Rather, we as individuals, each establish our own subjective “truths,” and we live “authentically” to the extent that we honor these individual “truths.”

The speed with which we have descended down this path is breathtaking. When I was in my 20’s (which was not long ago at all — right???), I used to debate abortion at Berkeley. Not exactly a friendly audience — I remember mentally noting exits, including windows, that I could utilize if things got out of hand. But they showed up, and they listened, because there was still some understanding in society that there was such a thing as truth, and hence an openness to listen to others to see if together we could arrive at that truth. Or, at the very least, that I could employ the truth as I see it to convince you that your understanding of the truth is flawed.

Not so today. Open discussion of controversial issues is almost nonexistent on most college campuses. Of course. If I have my truth and you have your truth, what would be the point? We are just supposed to respect each others’ truths and move on.

But the problem is that we all have to play together in the same sandbox. Somebody’s truth has to rule our social interaction. If we can’t come to an agreement about whose truth is truer, then the only option left is force. And so, instead of listening to what you have to say, I attempt to forcibly shut you down. I smash windows. I disrupt your talk. Or, alternatively, I call on the authority of the university to do that dirty work for me while I hide in a safe space with my crayons and puppy videos.

Pope Benedict XVI called relativism a “dictatorship.” And, ironically, it is. The philosophy that purports to allow everyone to believe as he wishes, actually allows no one to believe in anything but relativism. And because there need be no rhyme nor reason behind any individual belief, enforcement through persuasion becomes impossible. Hence, the inevitable clash of ideologies. And it will be the stronger, not the most persuasive, who will prevail.

Parents, please — teach your children that there is such a thing as truth. That yes, we may disagree with others about what that truth is. That we respect people — all people — regardless of their beliefs. (Another objective truth.) But beneath the disagreement, there is a truth. There is a God or there isn’t. Jesus Christ is divine or He isn’t. Sexual expression has an inherent meaning or it doesn’t. Gender is fixed or it isn’t.

[And parents, if you want help with this, get your hands on Chris Stefanik’s book Absolute Relativism, and check out his YouTube videos on the same subject.]

In any disagreement about objective truths, someone is right and someone is wrong. Or perhaps both are partially wrong and neither grasps the full truth. But the truth is there.

In the old days, our goal was to find it.