I know the parents of a one-year-old boy who recently attended a Baptism prep class at a parish. The mother is a fallen-away Catholic who grew up in lukewarm Catholic schools in the Southwest. The father was raised mainly as an agnostic and sees himself as “spiritual, not religious.”
Since the birth of their child just over a year ago, the mother has had a growing desire to get her son baptized. She has begun to return to Mass, perhaps to get her child baptized or respond to the pull of her original baptismal call. Giving birth and raising a baby is a spiritual experience, raising questions and awareness about a reality bigger than oneself.
“The baptism class was pretty quick.”
I heard those words and felt a sinking sensation in my stomach. A missed opportunity for evangelization. Spiritual but searching, culturally Catholic with little true formation, and the class becomes another failed moment to really speak the good news of the Gospel into someone’s life.
Postpartum Help: Fertile Ground for Evangelization
One aspect of new motherhood is a pervading sense of loneliness — a fear that you are the only one struggling with a particular difficulty or don’t know where to turn to unburden your sense of overwhelm.
In an increasingly isolated world, our parishes could become bastions of community: a place to be welcomed, evangelized, discipled and sent forth to greet other new parents coming for the sacrament of Baptism.
As far as I know, I have written the only Catholic book focused on postpartum issues. The book doesn’t just refer to Postpartum Depression (PPD) but also all the difficulties that arise in the year after having a baby. This includes physical recovery, sleepless nights, hormones changing, not being in control of your schedule, marital struggles, nursing or feeding, identity shifts and more. I write about the above and have heard from many other women how much the book helped them. But one book can only go so far.
Currently, about 1 in 7 women struggle with PPD. The number who struggle postpartum in any other given area is significantly higher. The Church could be at the forefront of addressing the physical recovery, emotional struggles, isolation and spiritual uniqueness of this time by accompanying couples through the Baptism process and into the life and community of the Church. In addition to offering family friendships, parishes could be equipped with resources — doctors, physical therapists, NFP teachers, counselors — to support struggling parents.
Birthing classes are common in preparation for the baby’s arrival, but there’s a lack of instruction afterward. Parishes could combine resources to provide postpartum courses at regular intervals.
Support for mothers is a part of her pro-life mission beyond handing out diapers and wipes. This kind of mission strengthens families to be witnesses of God’s love.
Obstacles to Evangelization
Most Baptism prep classes I know of are often the “second weeknight of the month” at an inconvenient time, and other children are not welcome.
If we treat sacramental prep in this way, we communicate that it is just a procedural move — the time might be inconvenient to you, but it’s convenient to us, so make it work.
Thus, the first obstacle to overcome is simply making the meeting time accessible, especially to families with more than one child. We can do that by offering childcare, involving the whole family or having flexible meeting options.
The second obstacle to evangelization is treating this moment as a transaction of information, giving them a sheet with all the boxes to check to get the child baptized. Pope Francis wrote in Evangelii Gaudium that “mere administration can no longer be enough” (EG 25). Rather than making this moment a formality, could we imbue it with a kerygmatic proclamation of the Gospel and what it means for our lives? I bet that most young couples have not heard the good news of God’s love in a compelling, life-changing way.
The third quality a baptism meeting often lacks is a connection to the parish. One way we should evangelize is through community — bringing Baptism prep couples into a communion of people who are serious about their faith and want to share it with others.
Evangelii Gaudium also says, “The Church which ‘goes forth’ is a community of missionary disciples who take the first step, who are involved and supportive, who bear fruit and rejoice. . . An evangelizing community gets involved by word and deed in people’s daily lives” (EG 24).
The pope is instructing us to put more effort into getting to know people. With a little more intentionality on our part, Baptism can be the entry point into a community of families all walking the same path toward union with Christ.
A Vision for the Future
So, what could baptism prep look like? It could look like mentorship, discipleship and community.
Perhaps well-formed couples with kids could meet with families coming for Baptism prep at a time that works for them both, addressing not only the status of the godparents’ standing in the Church and the requirement to go to Mass every Sunday but also the wider challenges at the heart of the postpartum time.
Perhaps they could sit near each other at Mass and be introduced to other families at the parish.
Maybe the mentor couple could even suggest tips to grow in prayer and explain how the little sufferings of postpartum life can be brought to the Lord to change us.
I dream of a parish where mothers and fathers who are further along in their parenting and faith journey come alongside those just starting their families. With the Holy Spirit’s help and our cooperation, we can make it a reality.
