By Lisa Smith
"Start by doing what is necessary; then do what is possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible." St. Francis of Assisi
Lent is a season of reflection, sacrifice and renewal — an opportunity to deepen our relationship with Christ through prayer, fasting and almsgiving. In our family, we have created a tradition that helps us engage with this sacred season in a tangible and meaningful way. Each year, at the start of Lent, we make paper crowns and write our Lenten commitments on them as a reminder that our sacrifices and efforts are meant to draw us closer to the King of Kings.
A Crown Fit for Sacrifice
Using construction paper and markers, we craft crowns like those given out at Burger King, transforming them into visual reminders of our Lenten promises. Each family member writes down what they will give up or take on during Lent. Some years, our commitments focus on fasting from distractions — like limiting screen time or reducing complaints. Other years, we emphasize positive actions, such as performing daily acts of kindness or spending more time in prayer.
Once decorated, we place our crowns on the wall by the stairs — a spot we pass multiple times daily on our way to the kitchen and dining room. This placement serves as a constant, visible reminder of our commitments, ensuring that Lent remains an active part of our daily lives rather than an afterthought.
Accountability and Support as the Body of Christ
One of the most powerful aspects of this tradition is our nightly family discussions at the dinner table. We talk about how our Lenten promises are going, what challenges we’re facing and how we can support one another.
One year, my son decided his Lenten promise would be to stop yelling at his sister. That first evening, we talked about how she could support him in his goal. She recognized that she could help by not intentionally frustrating him — such as refraining from destroying his Lego creations. In turn, he realized he could help her respect his space by offering to play with her, a loving action that answered the desire at the heart of her behavior: to spend time with her brother.
This moment demonstrated two key lessons:
That seeing our goals daily keeps them at the forefront of our minds, and
That we are not meant to journey through Lent — or life — alone.
We are the Body of Christ, called to help one another become the best versions of ourselves.
This idea is deeply rooted in our faith. St. Paul reminds us in Romans 12:4-5: "For as in one body we have many parts, and all the parts do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ and individually members one of another."
Lent is not just about personal sacrifice; it is also about growing in love and charity as a community.
The Value of Writing Down Our Goals
There is particular power in writing down our commitments. Psychological studies affirm that when we put our goals in writing, we are far more likely to follow through with them. Writing down our Lenten commitments engages us in interior reflection and holds us accountable for the transformation we seek.
When we physically write down our sacrifices or acts of service, we take ownership of our Lenten journey. It is no longer just an abstract thought but a visible, daily invitation to become more Christlike.
A Counselor’s Perspective: Growth Through Reflection and Accountability
As a therapist, I have seen firsthand the power of intentional goal-setting. In counseling, setting small, measurable goals helps individuals move toward healing and growth. Similarly, in Lent, setting spiritual goals — whether through fasting, prayer or acts of kindness — can be transformative. It fosters self-awareness, encourages accountability and deepens our faith.
Furthermore, the support of a community, much like our family discussions around the Lenten crowns, plays a crucial role in personal growth. In therapy, we emphasize the importance of social support in overcoming challenges. Likewise, engaging in Lenten commitments as a family or faith community strengthens our spiritual resilience and reinforces the understanding that we are never alone in our struggles.
Encouraging Growth in Holiness
This practice has been a gift to our family. It has transformed Lent from a season of vague intentions into a time of intentional, shared growth. It has helped our children understand that sacrifice is not simply about giving something up, but about becoming more like Jesus. It has reinforced the idea that our actions — big or small — impact others.
By integrating a simple craft with a deeper spiritual lesson, we have found a way to make Lent accessible and meaningful for all members of our family, regardless of age. Seeing our crowns each day reminds us that we are on this journey together, striving not for perfection but for holiness.
This Lent, consider introducing a similar practice in your own family. Whether it’s a paper crown, a poster or a family prayer journal, creating a visual reminder of your Lenten commitments can be a powerful way to remain faithful to them. Most importantly, use this season as an opportunity to grow not only as individuals but as a family rooted in faith, love and the grace of Christ.
As we journey through this holy season, may we remember that our sacrifices and acts of love are not just for ourselves, but for the greater glory of God.
"Whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31
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Lisa Smith is a therapist with St. Raphael Counseling, the largest Catholic therapy practice in the country. A ministry of Catholic Charities of Denver, the practice offers a wide range of services, including individual therapy, school counseling, couples counseling and family therapy.
