By Mark Sanders
The calendar has already turned from January to February, and chances are you’ve already made — and maybe abandoned — your New Year’s resolutions. Lose 10 pounds, save more money, get healthier… the list often feels like an endless loop, year after year.
As we step deeper into 2025, it’s common to wonder why so many resolutions fail. How can people create lasting change in their lives? As a therapist at St. Raphael Counseling, the largest Catholic therapy practice in the country, I frequently work with individuals seeking transformation. Despite their good intentions, many of these goals don’t succeed. So, why is that, and how can we do better?
One key reason resolutions fail is the lack of a concrete plan. The calendar may change, but nothing will be different unless your actions change, too. Being intentional can make all the difference. For instance, instead of saying, “I want to lose weight,” set a specific and measurable goal like, “I want to lose 10 pounds.” Break it into manageable steps and be realistic — if you haven’t been to the gym in years, aiming to go six times a week isn’t practical.
Rather than creating yet another list of changes, I encourage you to start with two important steps.
First, recognize and be grateful for what you already have. As Catholics, we’re called to “count our blessings.” Gratitude shifts your perspective from scarcity to abundance and helps you focus on fine-tuning your life rather than overhauling it entirely.
Second, reflect on the “why” behind your goals. Don’t just decide, “I want to pray more.” Ask yourself why this matters. Is it to center yourself and reduce stress? To strengthen your relationship with Jesus or Mary? To give thanks for your blessings? A clear purpose will help you persevere when challenges arise.
Adopting a long-term mindset can also make a big difference. For example, saving $1,200 in a month can feel overwhelming, but saving $100 each month for a year is much more manageable — and achieves the same result. Avoid the trap of short-term thinking and embrace steady, consistent progress.
That said, some situations may call for a more dramatic shift. In a previous career, I worked with individuals trying to quit smoking. Research shows that those who quit abruptly — going from 20 cigarettes a day to zero — were more successful than those who tapered off gradually. While abrupt change can feel intimidating, it often fosters a sense of accomplishment and momentum that slower methods may not provide.
Change takes time, especially when addressing long-standing habits. But with intentional decisions, a clear plan and a mindset of gratitude and purpose, your goals can become achievable.
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Mark Sanders is a therapist with St. Raphael Counseling, the largest Catholic therapy practice in the country. The practice, a ministry of Catholic Charities of Denver, offers a wide range of services, including individual therapy, school counseling, couples counseling and family therapy. They also provide evaluations for learning difficulties, attention problems and autism in a timely, thoughtful way that supports children and their families. With flexible scheduling, insurance options and a sliding scale, St. Raphael Counseling makes care accessible.
Their team of clinicians spans the Archdiocese of Denver and provides therapy and counseling in accordance with the teachings of the Catholic Church. Get started today.
