Living the spiritual works of mercy as a family

Melissa Keating

Americans spend quite a bit of time with their extended families. This makes it a perfect time to practice the spiritual works of mercy. Father Luis Granados, is an associate professor at St. John Vianney Seminary, and a member of the Disciples of the Heart of Jesus and Mary, the order that runs St. Mary’s Parish in Littleton, gave us some practical tips.

Praying for the living and the dead

Father Granados recommended the family gather and pray for all those who have died during the year, espcially members of their own family.

“There can be a moment when you gather and you realize who is missing. That’s a beautiful time to offer Masses for the dead,” Father Granados said.

Comfort the afflicted

“The afflicted during Christmas are the lonely. They don’t have anyone to celebrate with. It would be great if the family invites the lonely to their home,” Father Granados said. “Go to a nursing home. Bring some joy to those who are alone and elderly.”

Willingly forgive offenses

It can be easy to try and save this for big hurts, but it can be just as important during the little offenses that crop up whenever a bunch of people with blood ties spend several days in a house together.

“The family is together, which is great, but it can also awaken all those past offenses,” Father Granados said. “Christmas is the day of forgiveness because it was the moment when Mercy came into the world. So pray for that person, and pray that you may forgive.”

He also said that one may feel hurt by the other person for a long time, but the grace comes in choosing to forgive.

“Forgiveness is a path. The ‘willingly’ is the point. It’s saying you want to forgive,” Father Granados said.

To bear wrongs patiently

Again, while being around family is a beautiful thing, there can be many little (or even big) moments in which one feels wronged. Father Granados recommends frequently turning to Jesus and Mary, and to say small prayers to them, especially during the first flash of anger.

“Invoke the name of Jesus… Say simple prayers like ‘Jesus, remember me’ or ‘Jesus, help me be patient’,” Father Granados said.

Admonish sinners

Father Granados warned about misunderstanding this work of mercy, which should be seen as fraternal correction, with an emphasis on fraternal.

The thing to with family is that you are playing a long game. Instead of trying to correct everything that a fallen-away family member has done, try listening to them. Build the relationship. Then, Father Granados recommends inviting them to come to Confession with you.

“I think it’s more fruitful to go together,” Father Granados said. “In this case you’re not just admonishing, but inviting.”

Counsel the doubtful

Again, this one can be easy to misunderstand. Father Granados recommends not lecturing family members on aspects of the faith they may not understand or not be practicing, but to instead spend time together and open a space for dialogue, and especially the questions they have.

“Build the relationship and open a space. Jesus really listened and focused on what [people] were saying. Then after all that, he counseled,” Father Granados said.

Instructing the ignorant

Father Granados said that it is ultimately the parent’s job to make sure children understand the importance of Advent. He recommended that parents spend time explaining who is coming at the end of Advent.

He also recommended that the family incorporate a few traditional Advent liturgical year practices. For example, there are traditional hymns, called the “O Antiphons” that can easily be found on Youtube. These songs anticipate Jesus’ arrival and build up to Christmas day, and are a part of evening prayer for every priest and religious during this time in Advent. The first letter of each O Antiphon forms an acrostic, spelling out Ero cras, or, “tomorrow I come”.

“The heart of Mary is preparing this. She is saying all of this. The wisdom who created everything is here,” Father Granados said.

COMING UP: St. Bernadette’s Parish provides ministries with big reach

Sign up for a digital subscription to Denver Catholic!

St. Bernadette’s Parish provides ministries with big reach

Lakewood church is home to deaf, Native American, homeless ministries

Roxanne King
20160221-Churches-StBernadette (1)

St. Bernadette Parish, the pioneer Catholic church of Lakewood, outgrew its first worship space just 18 years after being founded in 1947. Today, the half-century-old church remains large enough but needs updated to better serve its exceptionally diverse congregation.

In addition to ministering to the faithful of central Lakewood, the parish heads Colorado Catholic Deaf Ministry, is home to St. Kateri Native American Community, runs a school and soon will be host to Marisol Home, which will provide transitional housing to homeless women with children.

“One holy, Catholic and apostolic church is a pretty good description for our parish,” said the pastor, Father Tom Coyte.

“Catholic means universal,” added pastoral associate Julie Plouffe, “and there is so much diversity represented in this one worship space: the deaf, Native Americans, service to the poor and the homeless, and to our school.”

Deaf ministry

When Father Coyte was named pastor of St. Bernadette’s two and a half years ago, he quickly realized his handsome church was in need of repairs and renovations—from the essentials of updating the heating, cooling and electricity, to improving the sanctuary for comfort and hospitality.

He wants all of his parishioners, including the deaf, to be able to enjoy full, active participation in the church liturgies. When Father Coyte arrived to St. Bernadette’s, the deaf community, which he’s led for 45 years, came with him.

“We became aware of how difficult it is to participate visually in our liturgies here,” Father Coyte said.

Because it’s essential for the deaf to see what’s being signed, the parish plans, among other improvements, to elevate the altar platform to increase visibility for the congregation. (The change will also aid seeing the schoolchildren when they take part in liturgies.)

Deaf ministry enables the hard of hearing to serve as lectors, ushers and extraordinary ministers of the Eucharist. It offers interpretive services for weddings, funerals and religious education classes, and organizes retreats.

“Deaf ministry is an archdiocesan outreach to all deaf persons and their families to be fully involved in parish and Church life,” Father Coyte said.

Services include religious education and interpretive outreach, and signed weekly Masses at two other parishes—one in the Colorado Springs Diocese.

“We also go to Pueblo and have been to other states,” Father Coyte said.

St. Kateri Community

The St. Kateri ministry, in which some 60 people from across the archdiocese representing about 10 Native American tribes celebrate a weekly Mass incorporating Indian traditions, has been at St. Bernadette’s since 1985.

“They’ve been embraced by the St. Bernadette community,” Father Coyte said. “They have a beautiful spirituality.”

Kateri ministry exists to evangelize and serve the archdiocese’s Native American community and provides religious education and community building.

Aid to the poor, homeless

Last fall, the Kateri community, which had turned the parish’s old convent into a chapel, moved their weekly Mass into the church proper. Catholic Charities is leasing and transforming Kateri’s former home for worship into a home for single-parent mothers with children. Marisol Home, set to open this year, will be able to shelter up to 18 families at once.

“St. Bernadette’s will be providing a lot of meal support and volunteer hours,” Plouffe said of the Marisol ministry.

Ministry to the poor and homeless has long been a cherished activity of the parish, which helps a near daily stream of indigent from Lakewood’s Colfax corridor with food, rent assistance and resource referrals.

“We reach out to many needy families in our school as well,” Father Coyte said.

Vast outreach

This spring the parish is launching a three-year, $1.5 million capital campaign to fund necessary improvements to make St. Bernadette’s more beautiful, functional and welcoming for its diverse congregation.

Just as the church’s unique ministries stretch beyond its parish boundaries, Father Coyte said so, too, does its need for donations.

“Our outreach is much larger than St. Bernadette Parish,” he said. “We’re a relatively small parish of 700 to 800 families, yet our ministries are quite ambitious.”

To Donate

Call St. Bernadette Parish, 303-233-1523