Guiding Married Couples to the Divine Physician

Matt and Mindy Dalton

We agonize, we hunger and we thirst for every couple that comes to us for marriage coaching.  Spouses call with trepidation, send emails crying out for help, share that their spouse may not come.  Pursued by the Holy Spirit, the “hound from heaven,” they end up walking through the doors of our simple office, sitting at our table and sharing their lives.  Their stories are similar although their journeys can vary.  They come wounded, broken and tired; there seems to be a universal thread with this commentary, Jesus is not the central part of their unions.

Oh, how we know this scenario, as we too were busy, in the first five years of our marriage, being distracted by the things of this world.  It was our careers, spending hours on planning and then remodeling our house to meet our desires.  If we weren’t still playing sports, we were either immersed in our kids’ athletic success or imprisoned to our favorite college/professional team.  Sadly, looking back on our early years in marriage, if we really think about it, our married relationship was based on selfishness.  Once the “honeymoon” was over or the sentimentality of “falling in love” dulled, we didn’t experience joy.  We had fun, individually, at the expense of our marital and familial joy.  Fun is momentary, joy points to the eternal.

Experiencing joy in our marriage occurred when I decided to give God some of my time.  I remember hearing a layman talk at the end of Mass about the fruits in his life of visiting our Lord Jesus regularly in the adoration chapel.  One thing rang in my ears, He said, “If you have the courage to sign up to be a regular adorer and pray in the chapel, pick a sacrificial time.”  That comment blazed a hole right in the center of my heart and I knew my time, 2 PM on Sundays.  That is when the Broncos game comes on.  Secondly, it had been several years that I had gone away from the sacrament of reconciliation.  Upon my reluctant return to confession, I became aware that God longed for me.

19 years ago, for the first time in my life, I experienced intimacy with Jesus.  In all of my brokenness and sin and its ugliness, the Divine Healer – Jesus – touched my heart.  I understood, in a profound way, why Holy Mother Church calls this the sacrament of healing.   From the Catechism of the Catholic Church, (CCC 1456), “for if the sick person is too ashamed to show his wound to the doctor, the medicine cannot heal what it does not know.”  When I heard the words of absolution through the priest, “I absolve you from all your sins,” I knew that it was Jesus, through our Holy Mother, that was making me new again. As my love for Jesus and Our Lady continues to grow, so does my burning desire to share this with my bride, Mindy; as we now approach 25 years married.

Allowing the stories of sacred scripture to come alive in our own lives, we get the answers to why Jesus is in such agony in the garden and why He thirsts from His venerable cross.  It is for each one of us.  In our marriage coaching, we are like physician assistants, helping other married couples open their hearts to God.  The fruit of inviting God into every part of our lives is gaining the eyes to see, our spouse is not our foe.  With grace, we stop fighting for our own rights, align with our helpmate and drink from the only source that will bring everlasting joy – Jesus Christ, the bridegroom of our souls, the Divine Physician.

COMING UP: Sensitive locations, not ‘sanctuary’

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DENVER, CO - DECEMBER 11: Msgr. Bernie Schmitz preaches the homily during the announcement of Our Lady of Guadalupe Parish as a diocesan shrine on December 11, 2016, in Denver, Colorado. (Photo by Anya Semenoff/Denver Catholic)

With the election of President Donald Trump, many immigrants are uncertain of their future in America. The situation has ignited a national conversation about immigrants and their legal status.

The term “sanctuary” has been making waves in the headlines recently after Denver immigrant Jeanette Vizguerra sought assistance at a local Unitarian church for fear of being deported. The term itself has largely been adopted by the media to describe cities where immigrants cannot be questioned about their immigration status and locations where immigrants can seek refuge and be safe from arrest.

While the so-called “Muslim ban” has been garnering a lot of media attention, there’s another piece of the conversation that’s equally as pertinent; that of the immigrants who are already living in the U.S.; those who have fled their home country in search of something better, established their lives here — and many of which are of Latino descent.

The fear among many Latinos is still prevalent, as many wonder what will become of their residence here in the U.S. under a Trump presidency.

“For those here today illegally who are seeking legal status, they will have one route and only one route: to return home and apply for re-entry,” President Trump said in an Aug. 31 speech in Phoenix, Ariz.

The law doesn’t give definition to “sanctuary” but instead describes places where immigrants are safe from any sort of enforcement action by U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) as “sensitive locations.” A 2011 memorandum distributed by ICE outlines that sensitive locations include, but are not limited to: schools, hospitals, churches, synagogues, mosques or other institutions of worship, the site of a funeral, wedding or other public religious ceremony and public demonstrations, such as a rally or march.

The memo states that enforcement actions are prohibited from taking place in any of these locations without prior approval by an ICE supervisor. In this event, supervisors are to “take extra care when assessing whether a planned enforcement action could reasonably be viewed as causing significant disruption to the normal operations of the sensitive location.”

The policy does, however, call for exigent circumstances in which enforcement actions can be carried out without prior approval. These include: matters of national security or terrorism, an imminent risk of death, violence or physical harm to any person or property, the immediate arrest of individual(s) that present an imminent danger to public safety, or an imminent risk of destruction of evidence material to an ongoing criminal case.

Should any of these situations arise, the memo instructs ICE agents to “conduct themselves as discretely as possible, consistency with office and public safety, and make every effort to lift the time at or focused on the sensitive location.”