Four little words to make your marriage last

Matt and Mindy Dalton

Seven years ago, I was having the worst thoughts about the one I was supposed to love the most, Matt. We were headed for a weekend away to watch our older girls’ volleyball matches. A discussion took place on what time we needed to head to the airport. I was up, showered, packed and ready to go.

Matt was so looking forward to a weekend away, he was already in “relaxation mode” just taking his time (whistling, in fact), not aware he was running a bit behind with packing and being ready to go.

We headed out, 20 minutes later than planned, and as we drove to the airport, I started feeling anxious; having an interior battle inside.

Matt started to have somewhat of a sense that I wasn’t thrilled with him when he notified me that the car needed gas—which meant an even later arrival. I surrendered my pride and said: “Matt, I need to ask for forgiveness.”

“For what?” he asked. “For the negative thoughts that have been exploding in my head all morning long. Will you forgive me?”

“Yes, I forgive you.”

Then he proceeded to ask forgiveness for his selfishness.

If I hadn’t asked for forgiveness, our entire weekend might have been spent arguing and growing distant from one another. The foundation of our marriage coaching process is built on forgiveness—stating what we are sorry for and saying the words, “Will you forgive me?”

As one another’s authentic helpmate, we are saying, “Will you help me when I am weak? Will you help me be a better husband/father or wife/mother?”

Unfortunately, with a lot of the couples we meet, their hearts are so hardened, they come in pointing the finger at their spouse, never taking a look at themselves and how they have contributed to the disagreements. Some couples carry around resentment and hurt and pain for years.

The important piece is to take an interior look and ask ourselves: “How did I contribute to that argument? Could I have spoken in a more charitable manner? Was I stuffing my feelings, not sharing my heart?” (“Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own eye?” Mt 7:3)

God, give me the grace to ask for forgiveness so that I can grant my spouse forgiveness.

Pope Francis says it well, “The perfect family doesn’t exist, nor is there a perfect husband or a perfect wife, and let’s not talk about the perfect mother-in-law! It’s just us sinners. If we learn to say we’re sorry and ask forgiveness, the marriage will last.”

You want your marriage to last? Go seek forgiveness from your spouse and grant them forgiveness as well.

COMING UP: Don’t miss ‘the most important archaeological discovery of the 20th century’

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Don’t miss ‘the most important archaeological discovery of the 20th century’

Denver’s Dead Sea Scrolls exhibition brings to life Judaism at time of Jesus

Vladimir Mauricio-Perez

“Welcome to Israel, the Biblical land of milk and honey at the crossroads of Africa, Europe and Asia… an archaeologist’s paradise”: These words mark the start of a once-in-a-lifetime immersion into ancient Israel that the Dead Sea Scrolls exhibition brings to the Denver Museum of Nature and Science March 16 to Sep. 3.

The exhibition, sponsored by the Archdiocese of Denver, not only displays the authentic Dead Sea Scrolls that have captivated millions of believers and non-believers around the world, but also a timeline back to Biblical times filled with ancient objects that date back to events written about in the Old Testament more than 3,000 years ago.

“We are convinced that the Dead Sea Scrolls discovered in the Judean desert are the most important archaeological discovery of the 20th century,” said Dr. Uzi Dahari, deputy director of the Israel Antiquities. “These scrolls, written in Hebrew, are the oldest copy of the Bible.”

In fact, some of these manuscripts are almost a thousand years older than the oldest copies of the Bible that had been discovered, providing a great wealth of knowledge about Judaism at the time of Jesus.

“So many things have changed [since this discovery],” said Dr. Michael Barber, professor of Scripture and Theology at the Augustine Institute in Denver. “We now understand first-century Judaism in a way we didn’t in the past and see how the Biblical authors are breathing the same air as other ancient Jews.”

An exhibition of the Dead Sea Scrolls at the Denver Museum of Nature and Science will be on display until Sept. 3. (Photos by Andrew Wright | Denver Catholic)

The air of first-century Israel was filled with expectations for the coming of the Messiah. The Dead Sea Scrolls, which have been associated with a unique religious Jewish community that lived a structured life, are a witness to this reality, he explained.

“[These communities] were trying to live in such a way as to prepare for the coming of the Messiah. They looked forward to a new covenant and the restoration of the glory of Adam” Dr. Barber said. “We see so many overlaps of how the New Testament is a fulfillment of the Jewish expectations of the time.”

The exhibition immerses guests into the history of the chosen people of God, from artifacts impressed with seals belonging to Biblical kings, such as Hezekiah, to an authentic stone block that fell from Jerusalem’s Western Wall in 70 AD.

“We preferred to select scientifically important items, some very small, some very large… but all of great significance,” Dr. Dahari said.

“Israel’s archaeological sites and artifacts have yielded extraordinary record of human achievement,” added Dr. Risa Levitt Kohn, curator of the exhibit and professor at San Diego State University. “The pots, coins, weapons, jewelry and other artifacts on display in this exhibition constituted a momentous contribution to our cultural legacy. They teach us about the past, but they also teach us about ourselves.”